Dirty Shame (Bluefield Bad Boys #1) Read online

  I pressed my arm against my stomach to settle it . . . again.

  Andi caught my attempt. “Sorry, I forget that most people, normal people, get squeamish about this stuff.”

  Andi was extremely bright and brave and a lot of fun to talk to. I’d known her only casually in high school. Mostly because, I too, had often been guilty of staying on the side of the lunch quad with the kids from my neighborhood. It was ridiculous, and now I felt extra ashamed and stupid for falling into that pattern along with the other snobs of the town. I’d missed out on knowing Andi, and something told me, she would have been far more fun than the people I’d grown up with.

  The car rumbled over the tracks, the great divide between north and south. It was laughable to think about now. I felt so much more a part of Kellan’s world than my own.

  “I’m still not clear on what that whole mess was about tonight,” Andi said. “I know that big guy, Jigsaw, was pissed at Kellan about something. Dawson said something about Kellan winning him in a fight, and Jigsaw being a sore loser.” She laughed. “What he should be sore about is that comical nickname. What an oaf. Dawson doesn’t get mad much, but when he does, he’s scary. And Tommy . . .” She grew quiet and contemplative. “Don’t ever know what to think about Tommy. He had it rough after his dad died. I don’t think he ever recuperated from all the stuff that happened.” She seemed to shake off a sadness that had swept over her as she talked about Tommy. She turned to me with a smile. “Kellan sure seems happy to have you back in town. At least he was happy right up to those last few minutes when he had to fight off four guys. Glad we raced in to get Dawson and Tommy.”

  “Me too. It’s hard to say just how serious things might have gotten if they hadn’t stepped in to help.”

  The rain had stopped, but a heavy, white mist hung over the town. Aside from the occasional porch light or flickering glow from a television, the houses were dark. Most people had gone to bed to get ready for a day of work. “Do you think they’ll go to work tomorrow?” I asked. “Seems like their jobs are going to be that much harder with all the cuts and bruises.”

  “Those three never take days off. I’ll have to see how deep Tommy’s cut is. He works with the machinery that fills the box cars, so he’ll probably be all right to work. But I don’t envy any of them. Pain and hard work never go well together.”

  Andi turned the car onto the unpaved section of road leading to the cabin. Being at the very edge of town, it was exceptionally dark. But there was a light on in the cabin. Andi parked and we climbed out.

  Kellan walked out onto the porch to greet us. His gaze caught mine before I’d even reached the steps. He was trying to read what I was thinking, but I wasn’t going to make it that easy on him. I decided to let him sweat for a bit. I walked quickly past him without a word, following Andi into the house.

  Tommy was sitting at the small kitchen table with an open bottle of whiskey in front of him and a kitchen towel, now red with blood, pressed against his side. His blood soaked shirt lay over the edge of the sink, making the kitchen look like a gory murder scene.

  Dawson came out from the kitchen holding a bag of ice against his lip.

  Andi walked up to him. “Let me see it.”

  Dawson winced as he pulled the ice away.

  Andi hopped up on her toes to get a better look. “Damn, that’s going to take awhile to heal. Avoid anything sour or salty or it’s going to hurt like hell.”

  “Thanks.” Dawson motioned to the bag. “Don’t you have anything in that witch doctor bag to heal it up over night?”

  Andi smacked her hand, none too gently, on his shoulder. He flinched as if every muscle hurt. “No magic cures for a split lip. But I can tell you that it will break open again every time you talk, laugh, or yawn. So avoid all those activities.”

  She walked into the kitchen.

  I followed, deciding I should offer my assistance, even though my stomach was firmly against it. But my stomach was even less ready to talk to Kellan. He was looking pretty miserable himself. Incredibly handsome. But miserable.

  Tommy stared down at the glass of whiskey in his hand. With his good looks, his dark brooding gaze, the muscles of his chest and arms covered in a mosaic of tattoos and blood, he looked like some warrior hero from a video game.

  Andi yanked out a chair. “Alcohol will make that cut bleed more.”

  “It also makes it hurt less,” Tommy said quietly. He still hadn’t looked at her. “Just give me a fucking bandage. I can take care of it myself.”

  Andi reached in her bag, pulled out a roll of gauze and threw it at him. Alcohol and the fight had dulled his reflexes. It bounced off his head and onto the table. He finally lifted his face and looked at Andi. There it was. Confirmation of what I’d been theorizing. Tommy was still in love with Andi.

  Andi’s harsh scowl softened. “Just let me look at it to see if it needs stitches.”

  “I’m not going to the hospital,” he grumbled as he lifted away the kitchen towel.

  My stomach did a right and proper somersault. Tommy gripped the whiskey glass hard enough to break it as Andi leaned her face closer to inspect the cut. From the tense hush that had fallen over the nurse and her patient, I decided it would be better if I left the room. There was obviously a lot more going on than just a first aid session. Besides, it was time for me to talk to Kellan.

  Dawson was sitting on the couch with his head leaned back and a bag of ice covering half of his face. Max was curled up next to him. Neither man nor dog looked up when I walked into the room. I headed down the hallway to Kellan’s room. His door was slightly ajar. I knocked lightly and entered without waiting for a response.

  Kellan was facing away from the door. He’d just pulled his wet shirt off. His back was red. Some significant bruises were already forming between his shoulder blades.

  “You need some ice,” I said.

  He raked his fingers through his wet hair. “I took a couple aspirin. It only hurts when I breathe . . . or move . . .” His gaze held mine. “Or look at you.”

  I hadn’t realized just how much emotion I’d been wearing until he pointed it out. I worked hard to complete a swallow, but my throat was dry and tight. Sometimes, being blissfully naive had its benefits.

  But I had to grow up. “I need to know—” I started, but he shook his head and moved closer. He didn’t reach out for me, and I was thankful. I was always at my most vulnerable when Kellan was touching me.

  “I have not seen Lilly or any woman since you—”

  “Lilly?” Hearing her name stung like a sharp slap. I hadn’t put any familiar names or faces with the heartbreaking scenarios I’d been imagining. My reaction seemed to have caught him off guard too.

  “Jigsaw is dating Lilly Upton. I figured that’s why you were so—”

  “Upset?” It seemed neither of us had the patience to let the other one finish their own sentences tonight. “I was upset because I caught the gist of what the fight was about. I assumed you had been seeing girls from Browning. But Lilly Upton, the beautiful, sex crazed girl who stalked you in high school, the girl I blamed for running off with you on grad night? Hadn’t really thought about her. But now it’s kind of making sense. And if she’s the girlfriend of that giant dipshit, why the hell would you be seeing her?”

  “Good question. Guess cuz I’m an asshole, and I deserved what I got tonight.” He took a deep breath. It seemed to cause him a great deal of pain. But at the moment I wasn’t able to conjure much sympathy.

  “I haven’t seen Lilly, I haven’t seen anyone since you got back.” He moved to touch me, but I wasn’t quite ready for it.

  I stepped back. “I can’t go through it again, Kellan. I can’t. I’m already so tangled up with thinking about you that I’m ready to kick myself for letting my guard down so fast.” A nervous laugh flew from my mouth. �
�Guard. That’s even funnier when I say it out loud. I have no guard when it comes to you. Defenseless. Hopeless. Completely fucking gaga, to use Becky’s term for it. But I won’t let myself break into a million pieces again because, frankly, it takes too damn long to pull all the pieces back together. So if you love me at all, you’ll swear to me right now that—”

  Two long steps and his arms were around me. “I swear, Lanie. There’s no one else. You’re on my mind every minute of the day. I wake up worried that I’m just dreaming this.” His hand curled around my face and he kissed me. “I worry more that you’ll come to your senses and leave this town and me. If you broke into a million pieces, then I broke into a billion. And I never put the pieces back together.” He kissed me again, but with more urgency, as if he feared it might be the last time.

  He lifted his mouth from mine and gazed down at me with those blue eyes that could pull me into a trance. I reached up and rubbed some of my lipstick off the side of his mouth. “I trust you, Kellan. Just don’t make me look foolish. I couldn’t live through that kind of humiliation again.”

  “I’m not him, Lanie. I’m not that jerk you left behind in New York. I love you. I can’t even remember a time when I wasn’t completely nuts about you. That will never change.”

  I curled against him. “See that it doesn’t.”

  Chapter 24

  Kellan

  Max trotted up the steps behind me, staring at my pocket expectantly. I dropped the rawhide on the porch. The dog snatched it up in his teeth and carried it to a shady corner. Neither of my roommates were up, and I wasn’t surprised. Tommy hadn’t made his Friday shift because of the cut on his side. He’d refused Andi’s advice to get it stitched up, and so she made do with some strong liquid bandage adhesive and crossed fingers. Her skilled work had at least put a stop to the seemingly endless stream of blood, but work would have been impossible. He was pissed about missing his shift, but he was having an even harder time recuperating from the tender ministrations of his personal medic. He’d gulped down half the bottle of whiskey after Andi left.

  I walked to the table and picked up my buzzing phone. “Hey, baby, was just going to call you.”

  “Guess what? My parents have gone out for the day. Some board members’ lunch or one of those boring events.”

  “Great. What should we do?”

  She paused for a second. “I tell you my parents are out for the day, and you ask what we should do? You’ve lost your bad boy touch. The old Kellan would have been inside his truck slamming over potholes and screeching tires around the corners to get here.”

  “You’re right. Where the hell is my head? Should I climb the mulberry?”

  She laughed. “I will let you in like a real visitor.”

  “I’m on my way, and be ready because once I get there I will prove to you that I haven’t lost my bad boy touch.”

  “Looking forward.”

  ***

  After the world’s speediest shower and ride through town, I found myself at the ornate iron gate outside the Merritt mansion. I had been inside the stately home only two other times. Both were times like this one, when Rylan had been left home alone. I’d never be invited inside like a normal visitor and that ugly fact always played havoc with my head. It seemed that for Rylan and me to have a future together, she was going to have to make a hard choice between family and love. It was archaic and stupid, but her parents were still stuck in their old world ignorance. And from what Meade had told me, her dad was still just as fiercely against me as he had been seven years ago.

  Rylan came out of the house with her dad’s two hound dogs in tow. She had on pink pajama style pants, fuzzy boots and an oversized t-shirt. Her hair was swept up in a messy knot on the back of her head. She put a key in the lock, and the pedestrian gate opened.

  I swept her instantly into my arms. “Darlin’, you shouldn’t have gone to such a fuss with your outfit.”

  She laughed. “Figured whatever I put on, you were just going to yank it off of me before you took three steps into my room.”

  “How the hell can you be so hot and so smart?” I reached down and grabbed her ass. “And this ass is a major bonus too. Especially in these pajama pants. You look like you’ve just come out of a slumber party. Shit, you and a slumber party, that makes me hard just thinking about it. Maybe you should get me inside before I take advantage of you right here on your dad’s rolling front lawn.”

  “It’d probably be the most exciting thing to happen in this morgue-like neighborhood in fifty years.” She took hold of my hand. The dogs sniffed me for a second. I patted each of them. “Guess it’s good I took the time to wash off the scent of rawhide before I came over.”

  Rylan nearly skipped as we headed across the wide green stretch of perfectly manicured grass. Red and white roses lined a used brick path leading to the front steps. The dogs beat us to the front door.

  I stepped across the white marble floor of the entry and stared up at the massive chandelier. It was a light fixture that was probably worth more than all my belongings put together. Which, of course, wasn’t saying much. Gold flecked wall paper lined the walls, and every form of art was placed in perfectly planned locations. My gaze followed the gleaming white balustrades up the double staircase. “Like what you’ve done with the place.”

  Rylan grabbed my hand again. “Wait until you see my room. Best gym this side of the Mississippi.”

  We climbed the staircase. Rylan led me down a hall on the left side of the stairs. “I just realized I’ve only entered your room from that sketch ass trellis outside your window. Hey, did your mom install a stripper pole? Heard they were good for exercise.”

  She shot me a raised brow. “Careful. Just hearing you mention my mom in the same sentence as a stripper pole has nearly shocked me out of the mood.”

  We reached her door. Before she opened it, I pulled her against me. “You’re in a mood, darlin’?”

  She pushed her leg between mine. “I’ve been in a mood since I woke up this morning with the name Kellan on my lips. It was all I could do not to take matters into my own hands.”

  “Damn, baby, you’re just giving me all kinds of dirty ideas.” I pushed open the door to the room. “Holy shit, this is a nice gym. I especially like the big bed in the center of it all. What I’m wondering is just how many wild things can we do in one afternoon?”

  I walked over to the exercise bicycle. There was a long, rubbery band hanging over the handlebars. I picked it up and swung it around. “I say we start simple and work our way up to the more advanced stuff.” I tossed the massive rubber band over my shoulder and walked over to Rylan, who was now blushing pink. “Damn, Lanie, when I think of all the fun we missed in these last seven years—”

  She reached down and lifted the oversized t-shirt up and off, exposing a sexy black lace bra beneath. “Then it seems to me, we’ve got some major catching up to do.” She pushed the bra straps down, and her nipples peered up over the top of the lace.

  It was the last tease I could take. My arms went around her, and my mouth slammed down over hers. I slid my hand between us and teased a taut nipple in between my finger and thumb.

  I pushed down the pajama pants. I paused the kiss long enough to lean my head down and gaze appreciatively at the black lace panties. “See, you did take the time to dress nice for me.”

  I swung the long band off my shoulder and led her to the bed. A long ornately carved post stood at each corner. “Is this bed an antique?” I asked as I ran my hand over the polished wood.

  “Yep, Victorian, back when everyone was prudish and stodgy and wild sex was a big no no. Oh, and women didn’t wear black lace panties and bras.”

  I ran my finger around the rose colored nipples that peeped up above the black lace of the bra. “Wonder how high the suicide rate was back then.” I reached up and t
ied the large band near the top of the post. “Try to forget that this belongs to your mom.” I took hold of her hands. “We’re about to give this old Victorian bed a lesson in dirty fun.”

  I lifted her hands up and tied the band lightly around each wrist. She squealed. It was a sort of nervous, excited laugh.

  I lifted her chin and pressed my mouth against hers. “Do you trust me, baby?”

  “With my body? Yes. With my heart? Not sure.”

  “Well then, I’ll have to work on that last part. But for now . . .” I walked behind her. A shiver coursed through her thin body as I kissed the back of her neck. I ran a trail of kisses down her back and hooked my finger around the thin strap of lace holding her panties on her hips. I dragged them down and over her fuzzy boots. “Kind of liking these short fuzzy boots,” I said. “Especially with this perfectly sculpted naked ass.”

  With that, I pressed my mouth against the cheek of her ass. I dropped to my knees, reached down and spread her feet farther apart. “God, your pussy is beautiful, baby.”

  “Kellan, touch me, please,” she begged softly.

  I pulled her ass out farther and ran my tongue along the seam between her cheeks. She squirmed away from my mouth, but I held her firmly and continued. My tongue flicked at the tight puckered hole as my fingers spread the folds of her pussy wide. I moved my mouth lower and held her against my mouth. She cried out and her knees weakened some as I pushed my tongue inside of her.

  My cock pushed hard against the fly of my pants as I tasted the moisture pooling between her legs. I moved one hand around to the front and pushed between her legs, taking care to caress her clit. She mewled in satisfaction as my tongue found the sweet spot inside of her. Her bound hands and my grasp seemed to be keeping her from sinking to her knees.